Tuesday 17 January 2012

Blog Fear

So, I did it! I wrote my first blog!

I was so terrified I could barely breathe while clicking on the bright orange ("danger, danger") publish button. I thought to myself, "Am I really doing this? I must be mad?"

I sit waiting nervously, chewing fingernails, while hubby reads it and then breathe a huge sigh of relief when he declares he likes it. Phew! First hurdle cleared!

Slowly then, the reviews from friends and family start coming in, and every comment was more positive than the last! Ok, now I'm starting to relax a little and thinking "Wow, maybe this is actually possible!"

Awaking the next morning, I start getting more and more excited about the whole new world that is opening its doors for me and inviting me in. Could this be real? I'm on such a high I feel like singing...and I do! Loudly! Ignoring the protests from my boys, I belt out renditions of some of my favourite songs whilst getting stuck into the housework I had slightly neglected over the last day or so.

But a little while later as I'm hanging out my washing, my mind starts wandering. I start thinking of what my next post might be about, and then the fear hits me! It crawls up my back from the base of my spine and I come back to earth with a thud. What if that's it? What if I've made this huge fuss about starting a blog and I'm never able to write another post? Oh my God....what if I'm a one hit blogger? I start to feel sick and beads of sweat break out on my forehead. The humiliation! How could I ever face people again? Maybe I should just walk away now before I make an even bigger fool of myself....

It's amazing how trying something new can put the fear of God into you. The fear of the unknown can be terrifying! But you have to ask yourself, is it the fear of failure....or the fear of success? Perhaps both.

Once I get a handle on the hysteria and allow myself to calm down (a cup of tea always helps), I start to see things in a different light. So what if I never write another post? Is it really that terrible? Would people really think that badly of me? At least I tried! Getting the courage to begin in the first place is quite often half the battle!

I'm going to go down this road and see where it takes me. If I fail, then I know this particular path wasn't for me, but I won't know if I don't give it a chance.

As it was said in an old Chinese Proverb, "The journey is the reward".

And of course, crisis averted...post written!

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